Before I knew it it was 2015, my first students had graduated and gone off to college. I had decided to stay with my school through its closure. My husband and I also decided to wait on more children after the stillbirth of our son in 2014 and miscarrying a daughter 8 months later. Fully recovered from a surgery to hopefully help my issues this past November and making the decision to stay in my building with the new charter program for this next school year I realized it was now 2016 and my college reunion was upon me.
I had an odd relationship with my alma mater while I was attending. I was excited to attend all through my senior year, then I realized I wanted to teach music and wasn't sure if I was in the right school for that. I was not ultra feminine or ultra feminist and found myself struggling to find my place in college and in a women's college of all places. By nature I am quiet and solitary; I greatly value the time I get to myself and I had a lot in college because I found myself not finding a niche right away.
When I began my college track career I found my place not so much at Scripps but as a part of CMS Athletics, a combining of three of the Claremont Colleges. We did the math once and when we combined the hours dedicated to meets, in-season practice, and off-season practice we found we spent more time on the track than we did in class; this doesn't even count the hours we spent as a team meeting up for dinner, brunch, and parties. But a Scripps athlete was a rare sight when I was there. I will never forget my senior year when the school put on an end-of-year reception for Scripps athletes: the turnout was small. Myself and a few other track/xc teammates were there and acknowledged how few of us there were and how disappointing it was to see that. As I returned this weekend I was pleased to see in the student store more CMS apparel and throughout the year the Scripps Facebook page highlighted the accomplishments not only of the Scripps athletes but the CMS Athenas as a whole; there was none of that when I was a student. The new athletic center has helped to encourage wellness and I think the mentality towards serious female athletes who attended Scripps has changed drastically as well. We are no longer overly muscular oddballs who are constantly mistaken for CMC students. We are Scripps Women and we are Scripps Athletes.
So because of that not so enthusiastic reception I faced on campus as an athlete I found myself with my teammates at CMC more often and I bonded with them quicker. This did not stop me from making strong connections with Scripps classmates but they were quick to point out that once track season was in effect, I was pretty much MIA unless I had a class with my friends. I hope it does not sound like I'm dismissing the bond I made with many wonderful women at Scripps and that I still have, just at the time, balancing them and track was a challenge.
As my students grew, and in particular as my girls grew I realized that I truly was a Scripps woman with a touch of athletic grit and severe bluntness thanks to my track coach. I wanted my girls to be strong and go after an education so they could stand on their own no matter who came in or out of their lives. My student Gaby once pointed out to me how impressed she was that I had survived a year unemployed, found a new job, troubling relationships, and was on my way to purchasing a house all on my own. She then said to me "You did it all on your own. I want to do that too." Even though in that moment I didn't realize that my determination was shaped by Scripps, I was proud that I appeared to my girls as a strong accomplished woman at a time in my life where I was truly struggling to know myself and figure out the path I should take.
Walking around campus taking in the flood of memories it really hit me how lucky I was to be able to attend a school like Scripps. Not just because of the stunning beauty of the campus but also because of the drive to learn as much as I could and to love learning. I wasn't a stellar student, no Dean's List or Cum Laude for me but I was passing my classes and bigger than that, I was learning. Even though I didn't do well at keeping touch with some of my classmates, when we all came back together it was like no time had passed at all. Each year that goes by and the more I perfect my craft of teaching and also seeing the struggle of kids affording college and schools failing to make kids college ready I find my appreciation for my high school and my college growing. Whether I realized it at the time, probably not, college was the catalyst for shaping who I became and am still becoming.
I never was a fan of reunions, but mark my words, I will come back to my Alma Mater now for every milestone reunion.
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