I have come to the end of a grueling 6 weeks of professional development - the kids come back on Tuesday.
Although my summer was short it feels like my downtime was months ago.
I began with my Level I Orff training which was one of the most amazing experience I've had in quite some time. I'm pumped to move on to Level II and III; I just hope I can find the money and there are no gaps in time. I find myself still processing everything and then getting overwhelmed by how many choices I have. I never knew what a full brain felt like until then.
Immediately after I finished Level I I was attending my new school's Summer Institute as they call it. This caused more anxiety than I wanted. I was still wondering if I was making the right choice, I was worried about how I would be received as a returning teacher from the school that was being turned around by this new charter. I can happily say it wasn't what I expected.
Day one was discussion of why we are here, what is happening in the community and where our students stand. I was re-invigorated, angered that in 10 years there was still so much that needed to be done. I was angry because I'm truly a part of the community. I live less than a mile from my school, this is not just a community I serve, the stakes are higher because I live here too. I also felt the other staff there with me fill with the same kind of energy to move mountains.
I'm in a strange place now as I move into my 10th year teaching and I'm now one of the older teachers in the building, which is unnerving to me but I felt nothing but support and respect from everyone in helping me to hone my skills and in seeking me out to learn about the kids and what led my school to close. It has been a while since I was around such eager teachers and so immediately supportive of each other.
The energy is good.
I have a lot to do in learning the school culture and firm up my skills while building a stronger music curriculum. It's a lot to do but I'm willing to do it.
There isn't much more for me to say as my mind is going full speed remembering what I need to do for the day tomorrow and get set for the kids on Tuesday.
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Closing Out the Year
The final bell has rung of final year of my school, my room is empty of my things and I'm in awe that I managed to consolidate my personal items to four average-sized bins. I'm also relieved that I will be returning to my classroom next year so I can take my time to inventory what I have. I can't believe how much I acquired in 5 years personally and purchased for me by the school.
Again the bittersweet feelings come up knowing that today I leave this building for 6 weeks and when I come back it will essentially be a new building. New school, new people. I am not as doubtful or hesitant as I was a few weeks ago about choosing to stay on with the new charter program coming in (which is an entirely different post I am working on). It goes without saying I will miss a lot of the people in this building. We lost a lot of staff and returning last August was a major struggle for me not seeing "my people"; I am bracing for a lot of emotions this time. It is hard to feel as emotional as others might knowing I will be back, I'll still have our kids.
The biggest jump I'll be making in my career is being exclusively an elementary music teacher. My heart fell away from teaching middle school. I hate to lay that change of heart on my students but that is where a lot of it stems from. Without a doubt I have fantastic middle school students. Once struggling through toxic classmates and the general hormones of 6th and 7th grade my now 8th graders, my original 4th graders have come back around to being incredible kids; I just wish it hadn't taken so long for them to get themselves in order.
The effort to motivate my middle schoolers to work independently and be ok in failing at first was emotionally exhausting. Not to mention having to cope with my own emotional struggles away from work over the last 3 years, I realize how overwhelmed I truly was. When I did finally step away and declare to the kids "after (x number) of years of practicing and me guiding you through all of this, you have to now work this out on your own" did I see a select group of them buckle down and struggle to success. It was the ones (not many however) who gave up once I stepped back who wore me out.
And then a year ago my first KIPPsters graduated. As I sat and listened to their speeches and their principal list the massive number of college acceptances, amazing test scores, scholarships, and their contributions to their school and community (this also does not count my kids who did not stay at KIPP but continued to be high achievers at their respective schools) did I realize that these 80 kids completely skewed my mindset of how middle school students should be.
Yes through middle school they had their moments of defiance and general lack of common sense, but they were very easy to talk to and rationalize with on how some choices might not have been good to make. They accepted their consequences and grew from them. They clung to their teachers for support whenever they needed it which is why I am still in contact with so many of them. They were/are the right group of kids that ended up in the same class together at the right school to help them to their full potential. I was at the right school in my first year of teaching to see what a school should be for urban students.
This is not the case with the middle schoolers I have encountered in the last 7 years. Not to say that they are worse than my KIPPsters, but maybe more immature? Not in the best school environment?Not the best community environment? Too quick to expect to have it their way? I still cannot quite figure it out. There is definitely A LOT happening outside of the school building that I really believe impacts my students, but again, that is for another post.
When I began teaching at my current school 5 yeas ago I had just discovered the real power of Orff. I loved it and I still do. When I saw how it really got my little ones learning and producing music I knew I wanted to be an Orff teacher. Before I knew I was staying put and I began looking for other job options I cringed slightly with the idea of teaching middle school. It is a complete turn around from where I was when I began teaching when I would cringe at the thought of teaching elementary school.
I am in awe that as I close out year 9 of how much I have grown as a teacher and how much I have changed in my wants and strengths in being a music teacher. I still miss conducting and wish I could do it more often, but I'm being pulled in this direction so away I go!
Again the bittersweet feelings come up knowing that today I leave this building for 6 weeks and when I come back it will essentially be a new building. New school, new people. I am not as doubtful or hesitant as I was a few weeks ago about choosing to stay on with the new charter program coming in (which is an entirely different post I am working on). It goes without saying I will miss a lot of the people in this building. We lost a lot of staff and returning last August was a major struggle for me not seeing "my people"; I am bracing for a lot of emotions this time. It is hard to feel as emotional as others might knowing I will be back, I'll still have our kids.
The biggest jump I'll be making in my career is being exclusively an elementary music teacher. My heart fell away from teaching middle school. I hate to lay that change of heart on my students but that is where a lot of it stems from. Without a doubt I have fantastic middle school students. Once struggling through toxic classmates and the general hormones of 6th and 7th grade my now 8th graders, my original 4th graders have come back around to being incredible kids; I just wish it hadn't taken so long for them to get themselves in order.
The effort to motivate my middle schoolers to work independently and be ok in failing at first was emotionally exhausting. Not to mention having to cope with my own emotional struggles away from work over the last 3 years, I realize how overwhelmed I truly was. When I did finally step away and declare to the kids "after (x number) of years of practicing and me guiding you through all of this, you have to now work this out on your own" did I see a select group of them buckle down and struggle to success. It was the ones (not many however) who gave up once I stepped back who wore me out.
And then a year ago my first KIPPsters graduated. As I sat and listened to their speeches and their principal list the massive number of college acceptances, amazing test scores, scholarships, and their contributions to their school and community (this also does not count my kids who did not stay at KIPP but continued to be high achievers at their respective schools) did I realize that these 80 kids completely skewed my mindset of how middle school students should be.
Yes through middle school they had their moments of defiance and general lack of common sense, but they were very easy to talk to and rationalize with on how some choices might not have been good to make. They accepted their consequences and grew from them. They clung to their teachers for support whenever they needed it which is why I am still in contact with so many of them. They were/are the right group of kids that ended up in the same class together at the right school to help them to their full potential. I was at the right school in my first year of teaching to see what a school should be for urban students.
This is not the case with the middle schoolers I have encountered in the last 7 years. Not to say that they are worse than my KIPPsters, but maybe more immature? Not in the best school environment?Not the best community environment? Too quick to expect to have it their way? I still cannot quite figure it out. There is definitely A LOT happening outside of the school building that I really believe impacts my students, but again, that is for another post.
When I began teaching at my current school 5 yeas ago I had just discovered the real power of Orff. I loved it and I still do. When I saw how it really got my little ones learning and producing music I knew I wanted to be an Orff teacher. Before I knew I was staying put and I began looking for other job options I cringed slightly with the idea of teaching middle school. It is a complete turn around from where I was when I began teaching when I would cringe at the thought of teaching elementary school.
I am in awe that as I close out year 9 of how much I have grown as a teacher and how much I have changed in my wants and strengths in being a music teacher. I still miss conducting and wish I could do it more often, but I'm being pulled in this direction so away I go!
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Another Graduation
Last year was a flood of traveling to DU and in between to the graduations of my first group of students at KIPP.
This year my final class that I taught a KIPP graduated tonight. For as much as I struggled to find my style as a teacher in my first two years teaching at KIPP and as much as it pained me to leave, looking back on it all it was the journey I needed to take to understand what a school should be. Had I not left KIPP I would not have found Orff; it all happens for a reason.
Hearing my students' names called brought back a flood of memories and laughed with former coworkers about as we watched them walk. I'm still in awe that I got to teach these kids and see how amazing they ended up. Had I taught anywhere else in my first two years I'm pretty certain that I would have left teaching. The memory of those kids keeps me going wanting to be the best teacher I can be
The realization then hit me that there will be a non-stop flow of graduations from this point on. My first middle schoolers at my current school will be seniors next year and so the flow will continue. It's my new normal that will never feel normal
This year my final class that I taught a KIPP graduated tonight. For as much as I struggled to find my style as a teacher in my first two years teaching at KIPP and as much as it pained me to leave, looking back on it all it was the journey I needed to take to understand what a school should be. Had I not left KIPP I would not have found Orff; it all happens for a reason.
Hearing my students' names called brought back a flood of memories and laughed with former coworkers about as we watched them walk. I'm still in awe that I got to teach these kids and see how amazing they ended up. Had I taught anywhere else in my first two years I'm pretty certain that I would have left teaching. The memory of those kids keeps me going wanting to be the best teacher I can be
The realization then hit me that there will be a non-stop flow of graduations from this point on. My first middle schoolers at my current school will be seniors next year and so the flow will continue. It's my new normal that will never feel normal
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Reflections on My 10-Year Reunion
I did not go to my high school reunion in 2012. The date was all wrong, life was hectic, I didn't want to drive to New Mexico. I knew one day my 10-year college reunion would come and I was unsure of what I would do; I couldn't see that far ahead.
Before I knew it it was 2015, my first students had graduated and gone off to college. I had decided to stay with my school through its closure. My husband and I also decided to wait on more children after the stillbirth of our son in 2014 and miscarrying a daughter 8 months later. Fully recovered from a surgery to hopefully help my issues this past November and making the decision to stay in my building with the new charter program for this next school year I realized it was now 2016 and my college reunion was upon me.
I had an odd relationship with my alma mater while I was attending. I was excited to attend all through my senior year, then I realized I wanted to teach music and wasn't sure if I was in the right school for that. I was not ultra feminine or ultra feminist and found myself struggling to find my place in college and in a women's college of all places. By nature I am quiet and solitary; I greatly value the time I get to myself and I had a lot in college because I found myself not finding a niche right away.
When I began my college track career I found my place not so much at Scripps but as a part of CMS Athletics, a combining of three of the Claremont Colleges. We did the math once and when we combined the hours dedicated to meets, in-season practice, and off-season practice we found we spent more time on the track than we did in class; this doesn't even count the hours we spent as a team meeting up for dinner, brunch, and parties. But a Scripps athlete was a rare sight when I was there. I will never forget my senior year when the school put on an end-of-year reception for Scripps athletes: the turnout was small. Myself and a few other track/xc teammates were there and acknowledged how few of us there were and how disappointing it was to see that. As I returned this weekend I was pleased to see in the student store more CMS apparel and throughout the year the Scripps Facebook page highlighted the accomplishments not only of the Scripps athletes but the CMS Athenas as a whole; there was none of that when I was a student. The new athletic center has helped to encourage wellness and I think the mentality towards serious female athletes who attended Scripps has changed drastically as well. We are no longer overly muscular oddballs who are constantly mistaken for CMC students. We are Scripps Women and we are Scripps Athletes.
So because of that not so enthusiastic reception I faced on campus as an athlete I found myself with my teammates at CMC more often and I bonded with them quicker. This did not stop me from making strong connections with Scripps classmates but they were quick to point out that once track season was in effect, I was pretty much MIA unless I had a class with my friends. I hope it does not sound like I'm dismissing the bond I made with many wonderful women at Scripps and that I still have, just at the time, balancing them and track was a challenge.
As my students grew, and in particular as my girls grew I realized that I truly was a Scripps woman with a touch of athletic grit and severe bluntness thanks to my track coach. I wanted my girls to be strong and go after an education so they could stand on their own no matter who came in or out of their lives. My student Gaby once pointed out to me how impressed she was that I had survived a year unemployed, found a new job, troubling relationships, and was on my way to purchasing a house all on my own. She then said to me "You did it all on your own. I want to do that too." Even though in that moment I didn't realize that my determination was shaped by Scripps, I was proud that I appeared to my girls as a strong accomplished woman at a time in my life where I was truly struggling to know myself and figure out the path I should take.
Walking around campus taking in the flood of memories it really hit me how lucky I was to be able to attend a school like Scripps. Not just because of the stunning beauty of the campus but also because of the drive to learn as much as I could and to love learning. I wasn't a stellar student, no Dean's List or Cum Laude for me but I was passing my classes and bigger than that, I was learning. Even though I didn't do well at keeping touch with some of my classmates, when we all came back together it was like no time had passed at all. Each year that goes by and the more I perfect my craft of teaching and also seeing the struggle of kids affording college and schools failing to make kids college ready I find my appreciation for my high school and my college growing. Whether I realized it at the time, probably not, college was the catalyst for shaping who I became and am still becoming.
I never was a fan of reunions, but mark my words, I will come back to my Alma Mater now for every milestone reunion.
Before I knew it it was 2015, my first students had graduated and gone off to college. I had decided to stay with my school through its closure. My husband and I also decided to wait on more children after the stillbirth of our son in 2014 and miscarrying a daughter 8 months later. Fully recovered from a surgery to hopefully help my issues this past November and making the decision to stay in my building with the new charter program for this next school year I realized it was now 2016 and my college reunion was upon me.
I had an odd relationship with my alma mater while I was attending. I was excited to attend all through my senior year, then I realized I wanted to teach music and wasn't sure if I was in the right school for that. I was not ultra feminine or ultra feminist and found myself struggling to find my place in college and in a women's college of all places. By nature I am quiet and solitary; I greatly value the time I get to myself and I had a lot in college because I found myself not finding a niche right away.
When I began my college track career I found my place not so much at Scripps but as a part of CMS Athletics, a combining of three of the Claremont Colleges. We did the math once and when we combined the hours dedicated to meets, in-season practice, and off-season practice we found we spent more time on the track than we did in class; this doesn't even count the hours we spent as a team meeting up for dinner, brunch, and parties. But a Scripps athlete was a rare sight when I was there. I will never forget my senior year when the school put on an end-of-year reception for Scripps athletes: the turnout was small. Myself and a few other track/xc teammates were there and acknowledged how few of us there were and how disappointing it was to see that. As I returned this weekend I was pleased to see in the student store more CMS apparel and throughout the year the Scripps Facebook page highlighted the accomplishments not only of the Scripps athletes but the CMS Athenas as a whole; there was none of that when I was a student. The new athletic center has helped to encourage wellness and I think the mentality towards serious female athletes who attended Scripps has changed drastically as well. We are no longer overly muscular oddballs who are constantly mistaken for CMC students. We are Scripps Women and we are Scripps Athletes.
So because of that not so enthusiastic reception I faced on campus as an athlete I found myself with my teammates at CMC more often and I bonded with them quicker. This did not stop me from making strong connections with Scripps classmates but they were quick to point out that once track season was in effect, I was pretty much MIA unless I had a class with my friends. I hope it does not sound like I'm dismissing the bond I made with many wonderful women at Scripps and that I still have, just at the time, balancing them and track was a challenge.
As my students grew, and in particular as my girls grew I realized that I truly was a Scripps woman with a touch of athletic grit and severe bluntness thanks to my track coach. I wanted my girls to be strong and go after an education so they could stand on their own no matter who came in or out of their lives. My student Gaby once pointed out to me how impressed she was that I had survived a year unemployed, found a new job, troubling relationships, and was on my way to purchasing a house all on my own. She then said to me "You did it all on your own. I want to do that too." Even though in that moment I didn't realize that my determination was shaped by Scripps, I was proud that I appeared to my girls as a strong accomplished woman at a time in my life where I was truly struggling to know myself and figure out the path I should take.
Walking around campus taking in the flood of memories it really hit me how lucky I was to be able to attend a school like Scripps. Not just because of the stunning beauty of the campus but also because of the drive to learn as much as I could and to love learning. I wasn't a stellar student, no Dean's List or Cum Laude for me but I was passing my classes and bigger than that, I was learning. Even though I didn't do well at keeping touch with some of my classmates, when we all came back together it was like no time had passed at all. Each year that goes by and the more I perfect my craft of teaching and also seeing the struggle of kids affording college and schools failing to make kids college ready I find my appreciation for my high school and my college growing. Whether I realized it at the time, probably not, college was the catalyst for shaping who I became and am still becoming.
I never was a fan of reunions, but mark my words, I will come back to my Alma Mater now for every milestone reunion.
Monday, March 14, 2016
March Madness...literally
So have you ever had those times where everything is dumped on you at once? I'm having a DAY like that and it doesn't look like it will be any different for the next two weeks. All of a sudden there is too much to do and not enough time or money to get it all done. My normal level of exhaustion pretty much quadrupled in the last week: countless appointments to make, different schedules starting this week up to spring break, and also trying to find the tuition to finally take my Orff levels classes. On top of that, throw in the time change and not getting enough sleep and I really don't know how I'm still typing somewhat coherent sentences.
So as I regroup for the spring I decided to give my TpT store a boost with sales for the month of March. I am also challenging myself with my activity level and meeting financial goals to pay for my Orff levels. So far I've been on a roll in my TpT store and I always appreciate the support so much.
Be on the look out for new anchor charts in my store as well once the chaos of the grind up to spring break!
So as I regroup for the spring I decided to give my TpT store a boost with sales for the month of March. I am also challenging myself with my activity level and meeting financial goals to pay for my Orff levels. So far I've been on a roll in my TpT store and I always appreciate the support so much.
Be on the look out for new anchor charts in my store as well once the chaos of the grind up to spring break!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
A Hip-Hop Prediction
I was very happy with myself around 2009 when I predicted that the next "Era" in Hip-Hop would be one where artist collaborated with other hip-hop artists and artists from different genres.....and I was right! But. This collaborative era has full exhausted itself to the point I do not listen to much of it anymore.
As I researched the different styles in Hip-Hop and mapped the eras it was hard to give exact dates when the eras changed they seemed to begin evolving every 10 years. And that 10 year mark is slowly approaching.
In the last two months I've noticed something new in the genre developing, and that is the re-emergence of the original Hip-Hop creators. I noticed it first with Macklemore's single "Downtown" which featured Melle Mell, Kool Mo Dee, and Grandmaster Caz; my husband and I thoroughly geeked out when they performed on The Tonight Show as well. The excitement continued a few weeks ago when my husband found Missy Elliot's new music video which was just as wacky as I remember them from middle and high school and instantly contagious. Tribe Called Quest and Talib Kweli performed on The Tonight Show most recently tonight on The Tonight Show, Kool Keith was sitting in with The Roots!
What is going on!?! I absolutely love this new trend and hope it keeps up. The production is innovative yet stays true to what that artist or group was all about, the lyrical delivery is leaps and bounds from of the monotone broken fluency younger rappers deliver their lyrics with.
If this has been happening for a while and is just now gaining momentum I really, really hope it keeps up!
About 3 more years to the 10 year mark I noted, so we shall see....
As I researched the different styles in Hip-Hop and mapped the eras it was hard to give exact dates when the eras changed they seemed to begin evolving every 10 years. And that 10 year mark is slowly approaching.
In the last two months I've noticed something new in the genre developing, and that is the re-emergence of the original Hip-Hop creators. I noticed it first with Macklemore's single "Downtown" which featured Melle Mell, Kool Mo Dee, and Grandmaster Caz; my husband and I thoroughly geeked out when they performed on The Tonight Show as well. The excitement continued a few weeks ago when my husband found Missy Elliot's new music video which was just as wacky as I remember them from middle and high school and instantly contagious. Tribe Called Quest and Talib Kweli performed on The Tonight Show most recently tonight on The Tonight Show, Kool Keith was sitting in with The Roots!
What is going on!?! I absolutely love this new trend and hope it keeps up. The production is innovative yet stays true to what that artist or group was all about, the lyrical delivery is leaps and bounds from of the monotone broken fluency younger rappers deliver their lyrics with.
If this has been happening for a while and is just now gaining momentum I really, really hope it keeps up!
About 3 more years to the 10 year mark I noted, so we shall see....
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Cue the Tears
Tears of joy at least...
I was quiet birthday for me which I was happy to take after the festivities of my 30th last year.
As it has become customary, my facebook page was flooded with happy birthday wishes the ones that got me the most were from my kids....my first 5th grade students who are now getting ready to graduate from high school in the spring.
Where did the time go? I still does not seem that long.
Aside from time moving so quickly, is seeing the stunning young men and women they've turned into, not just in appearance but in spirit as well.
To have some of them still stay in touch with me for so long, enough to write a college essay about me, and ask me to write them recommendations for scholarships and colleges after only teaching them for two years....I must have done something right.
They keep me going when so much seems so difficult.
I was quiet birthday for me which I was happy to take after the festivities of my 30th last year.
As it has become customary, my facebook page was flooded with happy birthday wishes the ones that got me the most were from my kids....my first 5th grade students who are now getting ready to graduate from high school in the spring.
Where did the time go? I still does not seem that long.
Aside from time moving so quickly, is seeing the stunning young men and women they've turned into, not just in appearance but in spirit as well.
To have some of them still stay in touch with me for so long, enough to write a college essay about me, and ask me to write them recommendations for scholarships and colleges after only teaching them for two years....I must have done something right.
They keep me going when so much seems so difficult.
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